Wow. I just finished reading an essay by Chuck Klosterman from his book, “Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs,” and I'm vaguely bamboozled – I think. His essay draws a parallel between the consumption of sugar cereal and the struggle for aging hipsters to be cool.
He illustrates the relationship, first, by addressing each cereal mascot's unique character flaw and situational dilemma. For example, the Trix Rabbit, often marginalized as “silly”, has never been allowed to enjoy even one bowl of his favourite foodstuff. Klosterman’s logical explanation for this restriction intertwines both age discrimination and racism, suggesting that we are to accept that Trix is reserved exclusively “for kids”.
Klosterman touches on a few other examples that, to me, have very little correlation with the thesis his analogies aim to support: “a product’s exclusivity is directly proportional to its social cachet, which is the definition of calculated adult coolness.”
Chuck presses on to describe in excruciating detail exactly what kind of coolness he’s referring to. Until that moment, I had never considered or appreciated the commercial implications of coolness on such a warped level. But Chuck seems to have a lucid understanding of this unspecific paradigm, extending far beyond mainstream teen coolness and aging hipster default coolness, both of which apparently reflect an opposing (and sort of pathetic) consumer aesthetic.
Despite the ostensible disconnect in his comparisons, the essay is held together by his sardonic style and obsessive eye for detail. There are points where you don’t really know what he’s saying, but it doesn’t really matter because it might make sense if only you were smarter – whether it actually does or doesn’t.
The truth is, reading Chuck will make you smarter – probably. Have a dictionary on hand and prepare to have thoughts like, “who the !@#% does this guy think he is?” But really that’s just the voice of your inferior intellect speaking.
Klosterman’s style of writing epitomizes the Converse sneaker, Argyle V-neck sweater, angular haircut, and thick-framed spectacles fashion. He makes you feel smart (for being able to connect with his insight) and stupid (for not being able to express it), as you laugh at his witticism and writhe with contempt at the pomposity of his prose.
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